HOW RICHARD DISCOVERED THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HIM AND A GIRL.
After sister faith’s lecture was over, comrades left lecture hall all the way to their rooms. It was on a Friday. They called it members’ day! Muilu rushed to his room. He met his colleagues Maranga and Mike back in the room.
These two roommates were pursuing bachelor’s degree in tourism and hospitality management. For them, they never used to have classes on Fridays, they used to have lectures on Friday morning, for only two hours. Their lectures in fourth year of study were few and the contact hours per week were merely eight hours. This made them have a lot of free time in the corridors of campus as opposed to Muilu. He was pursuing bachelor’s degree in Education Science. Sister faith’s lecture was final for the week. It used to come after a series of statistics and mathematics class. He was really tired.
His girlfriend, Muna just knocked on the door. She just bumped on Muilu’s room not even a minute after he had come from faiths lecture.
In the room, Maranga was caressing his new girlfriend. Nduta. Nduta was new in the campus. She had just joined university from high school life. She wanted to explore life. Life in campus. Away from her disturbing parents. Maranga had gotten her as the best friend who would teach her the new sweet things.sweet new campus life! He was there for her and ready to show her the sweetness of the new life. The college life!
But who was Maranga? Did she knew that she will be taught many things in that first semester of her life in college alone? Did any thought of being dumped by next semester ever enter in her mind? Did she knew that Maranga will have dumped her for a different taste?
That was Maranga. He waited for new students joining college from high school. Immediately they reported, he joined the campus fresher’s night. He performed as a dancer and as an artist. He used to make sure that by the end of the night concert, almost all of the new female students will be dying to be with him. The gullible female students were dying for him. Both fresh and old students who had never been his victims or who had never gotten a chance to hear his stories from the victims groaning about his bad habits, of sleeping with so many girls. Especially the new and fresh female students in their first year first semester at the college.
As Muna entered, Maranga was really busy cuddling Nduta. Nduta was in a moaning state. Mike, was busy watching a movie that he used to refer to as “wildlife cunningulus series.” He was watching it with his longtime girlfriend. They met in the first day in college as they were queuing for registration. They fell in love since that day. They had never separated. They used to have some quarrel but always in unity. Theirs was a true college love.
Maranga used to make fun of Mike. “Hey man! How can someone drink the same porridge since yesterday even when he is served with new and hot porridge. It is good to taste new wine. Somebody must be sick upstairs”. Maranga would say while mocking Mike.But Mike never listened unto him! He never fell victim of his colleague’s criticism. He was now in his second to final semester. Still with Mercy! His girlfriend.
In their room, they lived four students. But their fourth roommate, Richard, was pursuing bachelor’s degree in Engineering and was a longtime friend to Muilu since their primary school days. They went ahead to the same high school. Finally, they joined the same campus. Though this time round, Richard was pursuing a different programme. He pursued bachelor’s degree in mechanical engineering. Muilu was training as a teacher in mathematics and physics as his main areas of study. This made them share some common units.
However, Richard was always an absentee in the room. Many a times, he joined at wee hours at night. He never made it to the hostels earlier than 11.00 o’clock. Richard had no any girlfriend in his entire life at the University. His main girlfriend at the college was his big and voluminous books that included K. A Stroud Engineering Mathematics, Principles of Mechanical Engineering, Morling Engineering drawing texts books. Just mentioning but a few of them. That was Richard’s best friends throughout the semester. Some of these were always seen on his bed. Due to his absence in the room, Maranga mainly used his bed to entertain his multitude of girlfriends. This is because his bed that they shared with Mike was loose and used to make a lot sound as it was swinging from one side to another. Nevertheless, Maranga used to sleep on the top part of the bed. He never used his bed when making a legacy in his endeavors.
They nicknamed Richard’s bed as the engineer’s safe haven palace.
Richard used to be either in the library or in the drawing room. When he was not in these rooms, he could be found at the students’ center taking one or two bottles of Balozi or the President bear flavor.
Muilu used to join him on Fridays whenever he was tired to have a refreshing time with him. He termed it as engineer’s Friday. Rarely did they visit students’ centre with his girlfriend Muna. But seldom, she could join the two. She could drink two bottles of Guarana and drag Mailu to her room when she felt being intoxicated. This meant that they left their friend, Richard alone at the students’ centre. Richard would leave students’ centre at around 2.00 a.m. when early and around 4.00 am when late.
Now the Friday was here again with them. Muilu had just left the lecture hall. Sister faith’s lecture was lovely and entertaining. Muna is here with him. She wanted to go out at least to relax with her campus sweet ma, Muilu. She had only two lectures on that day. Her classes ended at 12.00 noon.
“Hey! Saseni”? Muna said as she greeted her boyfriend and his roommates. To her surprise, it is only Muilu who had heard and seen her. Mike was busy watching his wild film together with her girlfriend Mercy. Both glued to the laptop holding each other by throwing their arms around their waists. Maranga was busy with his new hunt.
“Poa sana kasweerie!” Muilu replied to her. “How was your day swee?” Muna replied! “Mine was very fine kasweerie. Kuchoka nayo!” “Waah!pole swee. Nilijua tu ndio utakuwa unatokea daro sasa hivi.” Said Muna as she hugged him deep for almost a whole minute. “I am also wondering how you did this accurate timing. Are you pursuing bachelor’s degree in timings?” “I knew tu. Wacha zako please dear”. Toa plan basi.” “Wataka twende wapi kaswerie? “Si twende tao?” “Really? Am damn tired!” can’t make it to town kasweerie!” Said Mailu. “I am too bored. Na usiendelee kunibore please. To plan poa”
As they were having the conversation while holding each other, Muilu’s phone vibrated in his pocket. He had put it in a silent and vibration mode as he was attending lectures the whole day. Lecturers never tolerated any phone call disturbances when the lecture was progressing. Phones were a new thing to the current generation. During their time, the only means of communication were via letters or landline calls back to their villages. In their villages, a day for making a phone call was set aside. This was because parents had to travel for several kilometers to towns where telephone booths were found.
He picked the phone to answer the call. It was Richard who was calling.
Muilu: Hello Richei!
Richard: (talking in the phone) Niaje teacher?
Muilu: Poa engineer. Uko wapi?
Richard: I am just through with another boring lecture here. At old site. Can we meet at students’ centre for a short refreshing teacher?
Mailu: We are with my sweetheart here. Lemme see if she will accept.
Richard: Poa teacher. Nipate huko basi akikubali.
Muna agreed that they walk to old site and pick Richard from there. It was about two kilometers from their hostel of residents. Walking along that distance would really erase all the fatigue of being seated since morning.
As they were walking. Muilu was narrating to Muna how his last lecture was interesting and why he never misses that lecture despite being the last lecture of the week at odd hours when everyone is really fatigued. Sister Faith stories were encouraging. The philosophy stories were also a kind of a refreshing antidote.
And today, it was really entertaining. The lecturer had really made their week beautiful.They walked laughing loudly as he narrated the whole story. How sister faith discovered that there was a very big difference between a man and a woman.
He asked her also to remember how she learnt that!
No later than sooner, they found themselves at the old site. They met with Richard. He put his books in his bag. Zipped it and threw it on his back. They walked directly to student centre. Muilu was hungry. Richard too. They had not had lunch since their lectures didn’t have enough break for someone to have proper lunch. They relied on some bans.
Muna had already prepared food in her room. She wasn’t hungry anyway, but she had to accompany them. She took some tea and a snake as they took food. They referred it as lunch cum supper.
Richard looked at Muna as she took a sausage and said. “Mmh… girls and sausages. Are inseparable!” They broke into laughter. For him and Muilu, they took some ugali and matumbo as the stew.
After this, they decided to take some few bottles of bear. Weekend had already started. It was members’ day. Now they were already the members. Richard made fun of it as he likened what they were taught in theory of structures that afternoon and refereed to them as structural members. He also likened some body parts as structural members. Muilu forced him to explain in depth what he really meant so that his girlfriend Muna was not left in darkness.
They took the first round of bears as they continued adding more.
It was at this point when Muilu started narrating to Richard how things were good and refreshing whenever he attended the philosophy lecture. It was the class that made him to refresh the whole week fatigue. Richard also asked Muilu if he can as well remember how he made that discovery. Muilu mumbled and said that he could not really remember specifically how he did learn it
Richard pointed his finger to Muna. “Teacher’s wife! Tell us! How did you learn it?” She shrugged. “I know nothing dear. Can’t remember it. I can hardly tell.” Muna said. “Oh! Now a teacher and his wife can’t teach us how they made this beautiful discovery? Lemme tell you how I learnt it!” He made his last sip from the bottle and requested the attendant to bring him another one.
“Guys! He said! You see, when I was just four years, we had moved from my birth town to the new land that my father had purchased. In fact I was around three years old and some months. When we moved to this new environment, there were few people who had settled there. However, several people were farming there. This meant that the neighbours’ surrounding our land used to stay at our home whenever it was either tilling season, sowing, weeding and harvesting.
Then, there was this young mother who was slightly older than my elder sister. She had a baby girl. Her daughter was my age. They were friends with my elder sister. Whenever they had visited, my sister and her mother could stay together until that time activity was over. Her mother could bathe the two of us together. But I never knew that there was a difference between me and her”.
Muna and her boyfriend were really attentive! You could think that they were being given a very difficult unit examination leakage! “Yes! Then what happened? How did you learn it? Muna asked! “Wait! We be told! Did you attend communication skills lecture?” Mailu cut her short!
“It was during this day! Richard continued! He started laughing as he continued sipping his bear. You see. This one day, that my sister left hurriedly and her mother had the duty to bathe us. It was around 4 or five since the sun was near the hills heading for the sunset.
“Eh! Then boom! You saw something?” Muna interrupted!
“Hey! You shut up! Said Mailu. Instructing her to keep quiet and they get the story in full. Richard was a man who if interrupted several times, he would finish that story at that point. So Mailu had the duty to make sure that Muna had minimal interruptions or else, Richard would mute and change the topic.
“Okay. I gonna keep quite darling” said Muna. Richard continued.
“Her mother bathed her being the first one. She was requested to sit in the carry. When she was through with the bathing process, her mother told her to step on some grass. This was due to the fact that there was nothing like towel. So her mother instructed her to stand on some green grasses to dry up.”
Richard took another sip.
“It is from this point that I looked at her and realized that she had hidden her third leg in-between her legs men!”
What? Some students who were seated on the next table drinking and smoking some stuff were also listening but pretended that they were not paying any attention on that communication. But at this time, they were seen trying to fight a laughter.
Muna had started laughing! She restricted herself from killing the unfinished story! Mailu was having his mouth wide open. He didn’t understand what Richard was talking about? How did she hide a third leg?
“Having seen that, I was eager to join her. I wanted to get bathed immediately and join her on the grass to dry up. But my intention this time round was not having the bathe. No! I was interested in hiding my third leg in-between my legs. My elder brother together with his friend, had told me that my manhood was a third leg. It was a leg that was slow in growing. So I wanted to hide my third and retarded leg in-between my properly growing legs. As she had done when she was through having a bathe.
I immediately jumped into the carry! I requested her mother to quickly bathe me! I even feigned that I was feeling cold. She heeded my request. Once I was through and she requested me to join her daughter as we dry up waiting her to cloth us with some fresh and clean clothes. Since it was in the evening.
She also warned us not to engage in play anymore to avoid dirtying ourselves and the clothes that she would dress us. All this time I was busy hiding my trunk in-between my legs. I tried and tried men! It never heeded my desire. My efforts were all futile! I kept on observing her and I could clearly see that her leg had heeded her instructions. It was completely hidden. Then there is mine here defying all my efforts!
That is the day I realized that there was a difference between the dress wearer and the trouser wearer.”
The whole place was in a loud and unending laughter. Almost all the students who were taking their hardy drinks were listening.
Richard, Maiulu and Muna were not bothered by that. Richard continued sipping his last drops of bear from his bottle. He was swallowing it heavily as he narrated his lesson to his colleagues. By this time, he had already taken three bottles of bear. Muna and Mailu had only drunk one bottle each. They were on their second bottles.
Muna was still in a disbelief! She looked like that she was remembering something.
“Where was that engineer?’ Asked Muna! “At my home”. Replied Richard.
“Do you remember that girl up to date?” asked another student from the next table?
“No! I don’t even remember her face. She left since that time. I have never seen her again. I was told that her mother got married in the neighboring district!” Said Richard.
Muna laughed uncontrollably! Where was your home? She asked Richard.
“My home village is known as Kamwithu village in Kilau division, Mbirone district. Replied Richard.
“But I was born in Kanondo village in Mbirone division before we migrated.” He added.
What about you? He asked her.
“I come from Kalele village in Murama district. But we migrated when I was a young kid from Mbireno district. My mother’s home is from that place. But she told me that our grandfather had a piece of land at Kamwithu village. We visited there when I was young.” She replied.
“Mhhh… Something is cooking up here men! Could you be the one?” Asked Mailu!
“Not really!” Replied Muna.
“Mmmh… Sisemi kitu mimi!” Said Richard.
“What do you mean?” Asked Mailu.
“I mean nothing teacher!” Replied Richard.
“But what is your mother’s name? Because my sister told me one day that Karambu was her friend whom was married in Murama districted. I asked her who is Karambu and she told me it is the mother of Jennifer. The kid we used to play with when I was a toddler.” Asked Richard.
“Oh my lord. She is my mom. My second name is Jennifer. But I really use it. I even never included it in my identity card” said Muna!
“Oh! Don’t tell me that you were that kid! Today I will leave this place right now!” Said Richard.